12 Day of Holiday Tips:

For A Less Stressful Holiday Season for Children with Autism and Their Families

1. Keep it small. Limit the number of people you see and places you go.
   • If you need to see less familiar people, make a photo album in advance of relatives and friends who you will see during holiday events.This can help some children remember the names of relatives or family friends.  It can also help ease anxiety about new or unfamiliar faces.
2. Use a calendar to mark the dates of upcoming events.
   • Many children will anxiously await the holidays, asking over and over when it will come! Time can be a tricky concept for many kids. Use a calendar to countdown the days until the big events.
3. Write and read a story together of what to expect during the holidays.
   • Many children with autism simply don’t know what is expected of them during these chaotic holiday events.  From visiting Santa to crowded holiday parties and itchy sweaters, the holidays are full of new and unusual experiences.  Help your child know what to expect and what is expected from them, but writing a story and reading it to them often leading up to the event.
4. Teach your child how to leave a situation or get support when an event becomes overwhelming.
   • No matter how much you prepare and try to prevent situations that you know will set your child off, life is not full-proof, and it’s often impossible to prevent all situations where your child may struggle.  Teach your child a signal or phrase that gives them a way out when they are upset or overwhelmed.  For example, a tap on your arm or a simple word like “break”.  You can also give them a comforting place to go, such as a quiet corner.  Make sure to practice this over and over again before the big event, so they are fluent and a simple cue by you will prompt them to use this skill if they are unable to independently.
5. Give simple, clear instructions when in new situations.
   • Holidays can be extremely overwhelming, and often the more words told to a child with autism, the more difficult it can be for them to process those instructions and act accordingly.  Keep your instructions short and to the point by using only a few words.  For example:
     Instead of this…. Say this… “Come over here and sit down next to me.” “Sit here.” and point “Take off your shoes and your coat and put them over here.” “Shoes off.” Wait until finished. “Coat off.” Wait. “Put here” “Let’s decorate the tree! Get all your ornaments and carefully put them on the tree.  Here’s a string of lights, let’s put them up.” “Put the snowman on.” “Hold this end of the lights.”
6. Use “First___,Then____” to help your child get through unpreferred situations.
   • This simple statement allows your child to see the payoff in the end, know what and is next, and prevent anxiety and meltdowns.  Avoid the urge to over-explain why they have to do certain things, be simple, to the point, and brief.
7. Make and reference a visual schedule of the day’s events.
   • Many children with autism are visual learners.  A written or picture schedule can be a great tool to guide your child through the steps in their day.  When referenced before each event or task, it can help give your child a roadmap of each step of the day. 
8. If you are traveling, make a ‘busy bag’ with tasks that are easy and fun to do!
   • Traveling can be boring for anyone.  Children with autism may not know what to do with themselves during long trips or in places where they have to wait a long time.  Teaching them leisure skills is greatly beneficial.  Think about the times when you have to wait…do you sit and do nothing? No, you pick up your phone or read a magazine.  You find something to do.  Children with autism may struggle to spontaneously find activities to do during leisure times.  Busy bags or binders can give them activities to do and make those travel times less stressful for all.
9. Practice opening gifts, giving gifts, taking turns and waiting.  
   • Practicing routines or activities prior to the real event can greatly increase the success of children with autism.  This allows them to learn the skills prior to the big day.  Teach them how to open gifts, wait their turn, or even respond appropriately to receiving an unwanted gift.  Allowing them to have a small treat or their favorite item/toy while they wait can also help them learn.
10. Set yourself up for success.
    • You know your child best.  You know what activities they are capable of successfully doing, and what activities may cause stress, anxiety, and problem behaviors.  Don’t put added pressure on yourself or your child to participate in activities or events that you know they aren’t quite ready to do.  Be okay with saying no to situations you know your child will struggle with.  Do the activities that you can enjoy and prepare for.  Set yourself up for success so everyone can enjoy the holiday!
11. Don’t force it.
    • Is  your child in a situation or interaction that you know they will struggle with?  Don’t force it.  Help your family and friends know the best way to approach or engage with your child.  Let them know when they may need a minute.  Is opening presents a struggle? Only do one at a time with breaks in between. Or don’t require them to open them all. Let family know that your child may not be able to participate fully in all of their planned activities, and that’s okay.
12. Watch for overstimulation.
    • You know your child’s signals that they are starting to lose control.  What does it look like when they are becoming overstimulating? What does it look like when they are just done or need a break?  Do frequent check-ins to make sure you are intervening before they hit their breaking point. Take frequent breaks outside, in the car, or a quiet space. Maybe you only can stay for 30 minutes. End your day successfully rather than pushing to the point of a meltdown or frustration.